John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.

Mr Adams

Mr McMahon 

Mr Decker

Gentlemen:

I want to start by saying how personally excited I am to hear about the impending merger between World Wrestling Entertainment and Cool and Collected Holdings (In association with Underscoopfire Industries) I know that this will open up some amazing oppourtunites for everyone involved and cement the WWE's place in history, not only as the most succesful sports-entertainment venture ever devised, but as the greatest media empire the world has ever known.

The fact that you are reaching out further to the talented and driven members of your collective fanbases is a true testimant to the groundbreaking things to come. I truly believe that by soliciting "pitches" for new WWE programing, the world will be given some of the most fresh television they have ever seen. 

Attached please find the outline for my new series: 

John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.

An american hero with unstoppable heart leads a team of loyal warriors against the forces of evil and greed."

Our series will follow the animated adventures of universally beloved wrestler John Cena who, after discovering a plot by a group of heartless wrestling stars who's plans to turn wrestling into a soulless corporation will not only damage the legacy of TV's most admired sports-art. It will set a bad example for kids everywhere and breed a generation of selfish, greedy Americans. 

Though Mr Cena has the heart of 20 men, he knows this is one mission he can't handle alone. Fortunately, during his years as a gladiator, he has met some of the greatest brothers in arms a guy could ever hope for. 

His Fantastic Faces include:

Rey Mysterio- A high flying, death defying, true man of mystery. Hailing from parts unkown this masked my may be small in stature but more than makes up for it with his enormous will to win. There is no adversary that can stand up to Rey Mysterio...including gravity.

Brodus Clay (Alias The Funkasaurus) Lovable, hilarious and as powerful as a Mack Truck! People of all walks are immediately charmed by the goofy antics of Brodus Clay except maybe the evil-doers who find themselves under the business end of this rump-shaking, rhythm loving warrior for truth and justice! If you think keeping up with his moves on the dance floor is tough...just try it in the wrestling ring!

Sheamus- This Celtic warrior definitely has the luck of the Irish ..though he probably doesn't need it. His ability to bounce back from the edge of defeat can be attributed as much to his years of brutal training as they can to the shamrock sorcery that has made his homeland great. Ready to take on any challenge, the only foe this fierce  fair skinned fighter runs from, is the sun.

Undertaker and Kane- Brothers Kane and "Taker" might seem like somber and sober fellows but when they want to, these Gloomy Gus's have more then their fair share of life in them. When they aren't dishing out beatdowns on bad dudes, they play their practical jokes on whoever they can find (sometimes each other!) Be careful, when the lights go out; when they come back on you could find yourself de-pantsed, wedgied or even worse!

Kaitlyn-This beautiful buff bombshell may seem like all brawn but this lady's brain is the teams true secret weapon. Able to almost instantly calculate the physics of any move and the outcome of any showdown, John Cena's Fantastic Faces wouldn't dare make a move without consulting this mathematic maven. 

John Cena and his team will have to muster every ounce of their collective might if they want to stop CM Punk and his Heinous Heels: CM...a man once led by his virtue until fame twisted him into a cruel monster focused on nothing more than profit and merchandising he using his physical prowess and inerint ability to influence those around him to peer pressure the entire wrestling world! 

Can The Fantasic Faces defeat The Heinous Heels with such powerhouse villains as:

Jinder Mahal- Indian tycoon Jinder Mahal has made a fortune on the backbreaking work of others and eventually joined the forces of CM Punk to further his moneymaking potential in America. Every alliance he makes, an uneasy one and Jinder is genuinely curious as to whether he will meet someone truly worthy of his loyalty. If not, he will simply crush every lowly person in his way. 

Big Show- A giant of a man, this monster towers over nearly everyone else on earth, though the size of his mind may be a bit below average. 
Big Show often provides most of the humor among the Heinous Heels (mostly at his own expense) but is always there to pitch his considerable might behind their latest dastardly cause. 

Mark Henry- Mark Henry is the strongest man in the world. A man of (very) few words, he seems to have no sense of humor and no real personal incentive, Many speculate whether or not Henry is truly a bad guy or just someone patiently waiting until his own plan makes itself known. Time will tell. Until then the Faces certainly have their hands full each time they are forced to face this behemoth. 

Vickie Guerrero- A former librarian and author Vickie wrote the book on good manners (she literally wrote a book on good manners.) 
After being driven nearly mad by being an etiquette conscious lady in a world of uncouth hooligans she left the quiet life of books to face her fears of the extreme, in the loud bright and brash world of professional wrestling. 
She immediately took to the world and because one of the most cunning and treacherous managers in wrestling history. Believed by those in the know to be a better business man than even CM Punk she could very well be biding her time for a well orchestrated "corporate takeover." Either way, when this former MS Manners says "Excuse me" these days...watch out!

Dolph Ziggler- Ziggler considers himself the most beautiful man that has ever walked the earth. While a true physical powerhouse his personal ego, more often than not, gets in the way of his success. Unable to truly be a part of any team, it's a constant struggle for CM Punk to keep Dolph focused on anything more than grooming, looking in a mirror and showing off.

While the Heinous Heels are arguably more physically powerful and undeniably better connected, the story arc of the serious will see them consistently lose to the faces as a result of their in-fighting and their lack of "heart"

Several characters will be added over time as well as additional managers and other on-air staff. 

I also plan for the show to reflect the ever shiftiting heel/face landscape, something that the original Rockin' Wrestling failed to do (which many animated wrestling show experts consider the reason for it's cancellation) 

John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling will be a weekly 22 minute animated series aimed at the lucrative 11-45 year old marked. Though I have already developed several hour long specials including numerous holiday episodes.

The potential for Tee Shirts and other merchandise as well as video sales to current wrestling fans and nostalgic former fans alike is incredible.

I want to thank you all again for your time. I hope that this concept sounds as exciting to you as I feel it could be. I have additional series material such as an pilot and first season arc ourlines, universe treatment and some concept art available at your request.

It would be my honor and privilege to develop John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling as one of the flagship programs in the new WWE/CoolCollected/Underscoopfire entertainment empire.

Thank you for your time.

Rhett Kahn

Meanwhile..., At The League Of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!

Team Hellions plans to totally revamp the league including a Cena Heel Turn that would not only change the WWE but more importantly my new animated series! 

Keith over at Ringtim Pro Wrestling plans some wrastlin' programming that could turn the WWE ship around! 

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In addition to these great blogs, I bring you some RAD, hand selected posts from some of my favorite online destinations! (also upstanding League members)



The Hits keep rolling out from Cold Slither put these podcasts in your earholes stat!

The Fiji Mermaid at Sideshow Cinema totally HULKS OUT with a great featured post.



Underscoopfire has a very interesting article on the view of Eternia from behind the Iron Curtain. GREAT READ!

Strange Kids Club discusses one of my favorite subjects, Movies Developed into Animated TV Shows. Here are the five worst.

Oscar Oscar Oscars!

In the early 1970’s, television was king and a young playwrite named Neil Simon -fresh off discovering that live theatre provided virtually no cultural enrichment to anyone…ever- wanted in.

While attending (serving at) a lavish Hollywood party, Simon lucked into a chance meeting with a man named Jim Henson. Henson was a puppeteer beginning to take the world by storm and determined to change the way that showbiz felt (FELT! Hah!) about his craft.

The two began to talk and soon discovered they had something in common; they both just knew they had a story to tell but weren’t sure how to break into the business. They decided that the one element they were each missing, was each other.

Neil Simon had to date, only created a single character; a half developed, slovenly man name Oscar Madison from his one man broadway show “The Odd Guy”

Henson on the other hand had created a virtual world filled with colorful characters. Each one more spectacular than the last and filled with more life than even your most realistically built actor. There was one character though that was destined for greatness. A green star in the making who would become as iconic as greats like Mickey Mouse! Bugs Bunny! Even Ed Grimley!! A character that would be forever tied to the legacy of Mr Henson. This character was, of course, Oscar the Grouch.

Simon had always wondered what his dialogue filled production about the interpersonal relationships of a recently divorced man trying to make his way in the world, would have been like with more than just one character…and thought that Henson’s lovable, trash can dwelling grouch might be just the guy to bring balance and stardom to his creation. After some quick television series development -which, as you probably know, is a very quick and smooth process, usually lasting only a matter of hours- A brand new, sure fire hit TV show was born! And on Tuesday September 24, 1974 viewers everywhere caught the very first episode of “The Oscars”

The show began with the following narration:

On November 13, Oscar The Grouch  was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from Gordon. Deep down, he knew that Gordon was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to his trash can. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can a divorced man and a furry green puppet who lives in a trashcan shaped portal to an alternate dimmension share an apartment without driving each other crazy? 

The setup had the potential to be entertainment gold. Two people who’s lives were turned upside down suddenly thrown together. One was a curmudgeonly grump who seemed to prefer living in filth living in his own garbage, who angrily rebuffed any outside attempts to better his hygiene or his attitude…and so was the other one! Could these two identically acting men ever learn to get along?

It turns out they could. They got along perfectly from episode one and their friendship grew as fast as the piles of garbage in their Manhattan apartment. The always bloodthirsty American TV viewers, after realizing that the show presented to drama or conflict whatsoever, soon turned on the show and after only seven episodes, NBC pulled the plug on “The Oscars”

However, out of the ashes a new show would be born. The idea was simple. Take the basic premise…two bachelors living together in a New York apartment. But make them different! One fun loving, one stuffy! One Messy, One Organized! Fill the show with conflict and the ratings would explode!

And explode they did As Burt and Ernie, the Odd Couple finally brought Jim Henson the stardom he was destined for!

Neil Simon, finally realizing that maybe this writing thing just wasn’t for him formed the Simon &Simon detective agency with his lifelong friend and failed musician Paul Simon

While not the respected script master he had hoped to become, Neil Simon had finally achieved happiness. Simon and SImon could often be seen, cruising the streets in their muscle car, solving crimes and blasting the latest single “Bridge Over Regular Water” By Rock Superstar Art Garfunkel! Their adventures were often punctuated by hilariously snappy dialogue, nearly half of which was actually improvised by Neil Simon!

It’s funny sometimes, how life turns out.

Meanwhile! at the League of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters (I really hope you guys read that in the voice I write it in)

Brian at Cool and Collected wants to know if they can go back and give Argo something called "Super Best Film..."

Shawn at Branded in the 80's corrects some horrible Oscars mistakes. In doing so he gives an award to Monster Squad (other than food, giving an award to Monster Squad is the fastest way to my heart) read this great post!

Victoria, The Henchgirl turns the 5 kinds of Oscar Winners into all kinds of good blog reading!

Tommy at Tophat Sasquatch Wins my award for post of the week with his very rad Action Figure Oscars!

A very merry unbirthday to the League!

The league Of Extraordinary Bloggers has been quite a ride. The experience of a lifetime. A real game changer! Seriously though there have been times that it has honestly been the only thing that kept me blogging at all.

I remember when Brian first brought up the idea on Twitter. I had been talking to my fellow bloggers about putting together some kind of blog community with cooperative promotion and so on... It had several names from The Brotherhood of Evil Bloggers to a bunch of names that I can’t remember. Anyway it all fell apart each and every time. egos and attitudes always got in the way untill a hero arose. I was having an awkward conversation with some folks on twitter just after the most recent failure of a bloggers league when Brian walked up all cool and collected (see what I did there?) and said “Friends...I have discovered the secret. A way that bloggers can unite, work together and not get into weird passive aggressive arguments while doing it! Come with me to this land I have forged and join me. Join me!!”

It may not have been exactly like that but you get the idea. A few of us signed up. Then, more people signed up. Then everybody signed up. Everybody in the world! And the rest...is history.

I’ve never been a fan of doing list blogs. I know a lot of people love them and they are VERY popular even here in The League. I can never get myself to do a simple list, even when I try it just becomes several small essays instead of one giant one.
My favorite posts have definitely been the ones that inspire the most creativity. EXPECIALLY The one word prompts. The system of reading a prompt and then trying to come up with an essay...fan fiction etc is actually my favorite way of writing. Just go with what you immediately think of in relation to the prompt and don’t let yourself hesitate just put it all out in words, for better or for worse.

Some Of My Favs:

-Kurt Russell: My Number one favorite!!! From the moment I saw that prompt I knew it was going to lead lots of people to blog gold!!

-Baseball: Just like “Kurt Russell” this post allowed me to go down a ridiculous rabbit hole of writing trying to tie together a completely unrelated chain of events only this time with a different personal favorite icon. Mr Tom Selleck!!

-Sequels!: I really really really enjoyed writing my Monster Squad Revenge! Sequel pitch..to the point that by the end of it I had to sit down with myself and calmly explain that it was a pretend post and I hadn’t actually been given the rights to write a sequel to Monster Squad...

-Michael Bay: Brian was gracious enough to allow me to “grandfather in” my Michael Bay post “What if Michael Bay turned the children’s book: A Button For Corduroy into a movie?” This was another blast to create and even cooler was one of my comments by Food Junk was actually a hilariously rad sequel to my post! Best blog comment I have EVER received!

-1992: I never realized how big a year this was until I sat down to write the post, from forging the dreams that I’m still chasing to this day, to (more importantly) Meeting the future Mrs Werewolf! it was a heck of a year and an awesome walk down memory lane!!

-True Confessions: My most controversial blog ever and my league post with the most comments (wasn't always a good thing lol) It felt great to get some of that stuff off my chest and take on the entire geek community!

-Mash Up: This is one that I basically just wrote for myself. A Eureeka’s Castle/Evil Dead mashup movie. I never got any comments or feedback for it but it was a BLAST to write!

 

 

 

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But Enough about me!! Here are just a few of the gems that I loved throughout my League Experiance.

Life With The Fandom also wrote a Bay post imaging a Bay Bravestarr or “Bay-ve Star” Movie. The result was filled with so much epic potential it made my head explode with joy (I got better) http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/03/league-assignment-7-next-childhood-gem.html

 

Geeky Vixen tells of her days as a witch (I mean the halloween costume) a very fun nostalgic piece from a very clever and talented writer. Great photos and a personal essay on her views of Halloween costumes in general. Enjoy! http://geekyvixen.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-ghosts-of-halloween-past-and-present-and-future/

Fortune and Glory Days to us down an incredibly nostalgic and fun to read walk down memory plank with his Pirates Post! http://fortuneandglorydays.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-league-has-spoken-pirates.html

It was tough to pick a post from ShezCrafti (she is a hilarious writer and just great people in general) but I went off the beaten path and chose her Christmas post where she actually offered to send her devoted followers a REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS PRESENT How cool is that? http://shezcrafti.com/merry-geekmas-come-get-your-presents/

A very funny (and in my experience of being around my wife while she is costume crafting) very true depiction of How To DIY a Halloween Costume from a guest blogger on Talk Star Wars To Me! http://talkstarwarstome.blogspot.ca/2012/10/how-to-diy-halloween-costume.html

Finally, Christopher Tupa. If you don’t know who that is, go educate yourself. I honestly don’t know why this guy isnt yet making tons of money from his wicked art skills! If any of my hairbrained schemes ever actually go anywhere and I “make it” I can’t think of many other people I would rather work with (too sentimental?) anyway here is his response to who he would have with him during a Zombie Apocalypse and seriously, check out his art while you’re there! http://ctupa.com/blog/?p=1193

As far as ideas for future topics go, I definitely have a few!

-Extended cut: What happened right after the closing scene of your favorite movie or tv show season finale? Example: In The Twilight Zone's "Time Enough At Last" We close with our hero surrounded by books and he has just broken his glasses. It's a heartbraking scene for a bibliophile such as myself but in the extended cut the camera pans accross town to a man in similar torment. He is surrounded by pairs of glasses and glasses making equiptment and he wails to the sky "I finally have the time to practice my optometry craft...but no one to make glasses for!!! Why???"

-Master of ONE Universe! If you were suddenly give any intellectual property ever created, which one would you choose and what would be your first project?

-Characters in search of Romance! Create a dating site profile for a famous fictional character. Include responses!

-Once More With Feeling! If you could revive any tv show to make a made for tv movie what would you choose and what would be the plot. Do you want to tie up loose ends left by it's cancellation? Do you just want to see more of these characters?

-The Twilight Zone- Turn a famous film, book or tv show into an episode of The Twilight Zone!

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I want to wish The League a very happy birthday and I hope it keeps rocking and rolling for many years to come. And here's to me getting off (or should that be ON) my lazy butt and writing blogs for it more often! See ya in the funny papers guys!




Meanwhile at League of Extraordinary Bloggers headquarters...

Thirty Year Old Boy has some GREAT ideas for future prompts!

That Figures is also a veritable good idea machine!

Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks Paints a nice and humourous picture of his history with the leaque and some ideas for it's fture. Also this is my Favorite Post of the Prompt!

I love it! All of it. Everything...forever.

Sometimes the geek community can be a little bit cynical. Hold on! hold on! I know opening a blog with that kind of ridiculous, over the top statement can sometimes turn people off to the point that they just immediately stop reading but please. Bear with me.

It's just that for a group of people that refer to themselves as "the fandom" they sure do find a lot of reasons to hate each and everything they see. They over analyze,  blow every continuity error out of proportion and freak out over every slight change the creators happen to make. But I'm not here to talk about those particular geeks. there's no way to help those poor souls, short of me appearing at their house in the middle of the night in chains, heralding the arrival of three ghosts.

I'm here to talk about a geeky group that could be saved. Those people on the opposite extreme. Who defend their favorite properties no matter what terrible nightmarish incarnations they might take. They are...oh...what's the word....

Don't get me wrong, I spend a lot of my time trying to add a little positivity to internet geekdom but there's being positive and then there's crazed, frothing, blind allegiance 

When I meet someone who is a fan of Pixar I feel a special kinship. Pixar has done some great things. Monsters Inc is one of my favorite animated movies of all time. Incredibles is also great! However if you are such a Pixar fan that you don't see that there has been a sharp decline in their quality (especially since the mouse bought them) I just want to put my arm over your shoulder and have a serious talk with ya. You see buddy, when you say things like that it really worries me. It worries me a lot.

Since Disney purchased Pixar in 2006 they began a hideous transformation into merchandise focused, quality compromising sequel factory. Seriously ANOTHER Toy Story? A Monsters Inc Prequel? A Finding Nemo sequel?? Finding Nemo! Did anyone ask for that?

But still, there are people who love the company and everything it does. They'll stand there with a giant grin on their face and no sign of life behind their eyes. They'll go to the parks and the stores and buy every ounce of merchandise they can. They'll act like Pixar just keeps getting better and better even when they inevitably release Cars 3 and 4 and 5 and whatever countless TV shows, spin-offs and live action role playing games they decide to make with it.
This doesn't do Pixar a service. It doesnt help anything. All it does is encourage the company to keep chasing the dollar.
Don't worry about quality guys just keep making stuff, we'll buy it! We don't care, we just want stuff!!

And when you send that kind of a message our there, this is what you get.

Look at it!
LOOK AT IT!!

If you really want to be a true fan of something you have to realize that things grow and evolve. You have to be open to change but don't be such an apologist that you're blind to things going horribly wrong with the property that you love. All the studios have to gauge the public's response to change is money. And when you start throwing cash around like a drunken action figure collector these companies think they're doing a good job. Next thing you know theyre making a third in the live action Smurfs series! Is that what you want?

Some things are just bad. Transformer was a great cartoon and a fantastic toy line. The Michael Bay movies were bad. Don't pretend they weren't  Were not going to think your less of a Transformers fan. Were all friends here. Calm down.

Sesame Street was a great show, one of my favorites as a kid! It had a kind of homemade feel that kids could really relate to. It was like you really knew the character...like you really LIVED on Sesame Street. But please for the love of Muppets, don't pretend that the too slick, over produced CGI infested spectacle that's on TV right now has anywhere near the heart and soul that the show started out with. Please.

I mean Mr Rogers was a legendary TV program but after it finally left television you didn't see them making some poor excuse for a-OH MY GOSH! PBS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!

I'm not trying to stand behind you with my hands on your shoulders like Emperor Palpatine trying to get you to embrace darkness and feed the negativity inside you, I just want you to use a little common sense. Love what is good and don't pretend to love what is bad. Seems simple enough right? We stood up to the Alien Ninja Turtle Movie! We stood up to the Star Wars Prequels! Let's just use this power toward everything, even the properties we love! Who's with me?

Anybody?

Oh well.